catnip catnip catnip catnip bus bus bus bus bus bus bus

Awesome morning. I was on the bus and these two people get on, a guy and a girl. They come sit in the back where I am sitting along with three or four other morning bus regulars. She sits down and laughs “someone’s gonna want to buy this.” I assume that they’re finishing up a conversation and I’m hearing one line out of context. No. She opens her bag and pulls out a Sylvania DVD player, still in the box. “I can’t believe I walked out of the store with this,” she says. She shoves it in one guy’s face. “Look at how small they make them now! AHAHAHAHAHA. They call them ‘compact.'” The guy does one of the best dismissive nods I’ve ever seen. It does not dissuade her, however.

Her man wants to see the DVD player, so she hands it over. While he examines it, she goes back into her bag. She’s got CDs, “DVD movies,” and “Axe products” (which she helpfully spells out as A-X-E, just in case we were confused). I am completely fascinated by this display, and yet I am avoiding eye contact as though my life depended on it. Meanwhile, she’s laughing because one of the CDs is by Rod Stewart. “How old is this?! HAHAHAHA. But still good!”

Absolutely nobody on the bus is acknowledging that anything at all is happening.

Meanwhile, her boyfriend is pawing through the DVD box. “I thought this was a Blu-Ray,” he says. “It is!” she replies. “It says so right there!”

In giant print on the front of the box: HDMI DVD PLAYER

He flips the box around, openes it up, pulls out the remote, looks it over with some degree of confusion, all while she’s trying to convince him that he has a Blu-Ray player. He gives up and hands it back. She starts reading specs out loud. “H… D… M… I… DVD player with U… S… B… I can’t believe I walked out the door with this!” She pauses… she’s got something. And she delivers: “…the STORE door!” The rhyme makes her cackle.

I decide that this is clearly God’s way of telling me that I should get off the bus a stop early and pop by Tim Hortons on the way in to work. Hooray for breakfast wraps.