You know what I like? Getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Sure, it is kind of a pain, and you stumble around in the dark and then blind yourself with the light and you inevitably stub your toe. But. When you come back, the spot you were laying on has cooled off, as has your pillow. And you lay down, and you’re still all dozey sleepy, and you don’t have to pee anymore and that feels delightful, and your bed and your pillow is cool, and that’s all just great.

I also love getting stones in my shoes because it feels so good after you take them out.

When I was a kid, I used to keep my pillows in the freezer so they’d be nice and cold when I went to bed. They wouldn’t stay cold for as long as you’d think. One time I poured a little water on a pillow before putting it in the freezer in hopes it would freeze solid and stay cold longer. At 33, the many flaws in this plan are readily apparent. At 14, they were not.

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