Deserée is bonkers over Glass Tiger. I present this information merely as context; a way of explaining why, exactly, I was at a Glass Tiger show in 2014. She was there to watch the band, and the rest of us were there to watch her watch the band. I am not here to make fun. Much. I have my things too. We all have our things. Sometimes Glass Tiger is one of those things, and what the heck, I’ll go to that.
Her fandom is pretty much the only reason why I even remember Glass Tiger in 2014. Otherwise, they’d occupy a sort of Honeymoon Suite/Platinum Blonde place in my mind – I remember the name, I remember liking them well enough when they were on Video Hits with Samantha Taylor (the only version of Video Hits worth watching), but I was never what you’d really call a fan. Glass Tiger has more songs that I remember than those other bands, but that’s probably just due to my age and when I started being aware of music.
We made plans for dinner at Beer Bros at 6:00. Mid-afternoon, I was advised that Deserée and crew might arrive closer to 6:15. I later found out that this had to do with… pants and soup? I think? I was never entirely clear on that. But whatever.
It is at this point that I could quit writing and tell the story entirely in copied and pasted text messages. There were three conversations going on over the course of the night: James/Deserée as to why people weren’t at the restaurant yet, James/Aaron comparing concerts (Aaron and Cindy were out at Big Rude Jake for their anniversary), and James/friend who shall remain nameless because he had just completed a stressful few weeks at work and was unwinding with a UFC show and numerous beers which contributed fantastic opinions and typos. I think who’s who should be obvious. If it helps, I don’t quote Aaron in here.
Say what you will about people being addicted to their smartphones and missing out on real life, but this text record of the evening is fantastic. I rarely take notes at concerts and then I forget all the stuff I wanted to write about. No chance of that anymore.
6:04 p.m. “We haven’t left the house.”
6:06 p.m. “I think we’re going… no wait, camera…”
6:07 p.m. “Phone…”
6:08 p.m. “Oh boy… k, phone found.”
There’s more of this but you get the idea. 6:00 became 6:15 which became 6:30 as Deserée became increasingly agitated with her traveling companions.
Mika and I used the time alone to share an order of deep fried pickles. Time well spent.
Eventually everyone showed up and got fed. Dinner was delightful as it always is there. Aaron suggested I get chicken, but I just got a burger because I am boring like that, and because SLCR canon doesn’t hold in the face of Beer Bros bacon. I don’t know if they buy something special or they just know what to do it, but either way, fine work. And besides, the pickles were a enough of a callback to the deep fried days of Louis’ Pub and the first concert reviews.
While at dinner, I gave Deserée a Glass Tiger 45 for the song I Will Be There that I found at Value Village earlier in the week. There’s a piece of masking tape on the front that indicates this was once sold at a garage sale for 50 cents, which means that Value Village actually marked it up. Clearly, they knew they had a treasure on their hands.
Finally, it was time to head to the show, and as it always seems to wind up with casino shows, we were cutting it pretty fine. I wish I had text messages detailing the decisiveness with which it was decided we did not have time for dessert. The law was LAID DOWN.
I had been invited to watch the night’s UFC card, and I had actually accepted before remembering the Glass Tiger show. Despite the weak main event, the strong undercard made me a little sad to miss out. Luckily, I got updates as the night went on so I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. Really, I think I got the best of both worlds.
7:58 p.m. “THIS UFC CARD WILL ROCK. THE RETURN OF DRUNK TEXTING”
7:59 p.m. “THIS WILL BEDTBTHE SLEPPY HOLLOW UNFIRVEN CAVRMAN FORBAWESOME. FUCKNSPELL CHECK”
I reminded my pal where I was.
8:03 p.m. “Looooool hpe Desiree meets Alan Frew #ew”
“#ew” absolutely slayed me.
Glass Tiger started right on time, as casino shows will do. No opener. I think the first song was Someday; I could be wrong on that. It was a song I knew, I remember that much. Deserée was grinning and practically vibrating from excitement. She did not rush the stage right away, though. I lost that bet.
8:11 p.m. “Durst fight is cat zingano vsm amanda nunes. Love rhe womens fights. Chipnon theirsgoulse..greatbstart”
I think it was four or five songs in when she actually went up to the front, for the song Diamond Sun. There were other folks already up there – maybe 10 in total. So, of course, an old man security guard came and shooed everyone back to their seats. Can’t have people getting too rowdy here. At some point, some lady decided that she was going to go back up to the front, old man security guard be damned. She stood there. He talked to her. He walked away, defeated. Who knew that’s all it took?
Around this time I had a lengthy conversation with my drunken pal and his girlfriend about UFC fighter Tim Kennedy and his legs. She liked them. He said they were “Not heslous” but when I agreed that they were nice legs (she sent me a picture) (see above re: the wonderful ever-connected age in which we live), I got called a “fucking petbert jeking off to tim kennefy’s legs lol.”
8:47 p.m. “Animal heaaaaaarr”
Sure, make fun of me for going to…
8:54 p.m. “Glass toger in 2014″
…but I didn’t even remember Animal Heart was a song of theirs. Who’s the superfan now?
9:13 p.m. “Its THEIR ONLY SOMG :)”
This is not true. Their only song was Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone. I feel like I might be forgetting some parentheses in there? Not sure it matters. They actually had a lot of hits and played pretty much all of them. I already mentioned Someday and Animal Heart and Diamond Sun. There was My Town and The Thin Red Line and I’m Still Searching. Maybe that’s the one they started with? Who can remember. Spoiler: the encore was (a very extended version of) Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone, because of course it would be.
It was during this encore that Alan Frew took off his jacket to reveal a Glass Tiger t-shirt. They say you should not be that guy who wears the band’s shirt to the band’s concert. I don’t know if you get a free pass if you’re in the band, or if it’s worse. But that is not relevant right now. It was also during this encore that a ton of people were up at the front, and it was then that Alan Frew stole Deserée’s phone and wandered around the stage with it, shooting video. This was pretty cool – and would have been better had her phone not crapped out halfway through. Still, the video is pretty neat to see.
10:23 p.m. “Thus ends drunkbtexting :) hopenconcert wad good”
I did think that the sound quality was disappointing. The band was way too loud for the style of music they were playing. Not in an “ow, my freakin’ ears” sort of way – more in a “the music is distorted and drowning out the vocals” way. I’m not sure if it got better over the course of the evening or if I just got used to it.
The concert was short, only about 90 minutes including the encore. It was an all-hits affair, as I mentioned, apart from a few new songs that fit well with everything else. Really, the whole night was fun enough. It was fun to hear a bunch of songs I’d kind of forgotten about and everyone there seemed to have a good time.
After the show, we sat around and discussed how much we’d have to pay Alan Frew to score and record a song that I would hypothetically write. Apparently this is a thing one can do and I am very down with this idea. I currently have $25 and some Sobeys coupons in my wallet. I also cashed in everybody’s free slot play vouchers after the show and walked away with $12.50 ($12 from the slots, plus I found 50 cents in the change tray at the ticket redemption machine). That brings me up to $37.50 I am willing to contribute. I bet it costs more than that, but how much more? I would be willing to start a Kickstarter for this. I am also taking lyric suggestions.
Glass Tiger was in the lobby after the show, and by the time we were done with the songwriting proposal and the slot machines, the line to meet them was fairly reasonable. As much as Mika wanted to know how the backup singer got her hair to be that way, we opted to go home, leaving Deserée to get her record signed. I haven’t seen her since. I hope she’s enjoying her new life.
• The Smalls (October 24)
• Michael Bernard Fitzgerald (October 28)
• Gordon Lightfoot (November 7)
• Buck 65 (November 14)
• Spirit of the West (November 21)